The Heretics – Private Tape – 1980

Stepping Stone / Nazi Born And Bred / Mania / Napalm Babies / Death Or Glory

Indebted to Chris Low for lend of this tape, in turn indebted to Sii from The Heretics for taping it for Chris and sending him photos in the first place.

As you can imagine, the master tape of this bedroom / practice / live session, after almost 30 years is a little knackered, but still shows signs of some kind of musical (in)ability now and again!

This band I know very little about apart from the name, which has hovered in my conscience for decades. In fact apart from the Toxic Grafity piece which will be uploaded shortly (when Chris finds his copy in all the shoe boxes he seems to keep this kind of stuff in), most of the info I have cobbled together in my mind recently, is from reading Rich Kids (Jake, the growler on these tracks), Sams and Sii’s numerous comments on another post (The Chris Low Obscure Punk Tape Post HERE ) mixed up with stories from Andy Martin of The Apostles told to me decades ago.

Could this band be as legendary as The Turdburglars, another band that people know the name of, but who never released anything or know little of…?

I hope someone will enlighten me more on this band via the comments.

Toxic Grafity interview below.

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  1. Jah Pork Pie
    Jah Pork Pie
    June 13, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    Yes. Be very careful to follow the recipe EXACTLY next time or you risk forming a great band who have several number one albums and become horribly rich 😉

    Take it from a Plague Dog who knows!

  2. Penguin
    Penguin • Post Author •
    July 18, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    Is The Heretics Wii game still being considered Pork? And will it be available for xmas?

  3. John Shag one sheep and you're forever John the sheepshagger
    John Shag one sheep and you're forever John the sheepshagger
    July 18, 2008 at 6:20 pm

    does Wii have the technology to cut someones head off?

  4. Penguin
    Penguin • Post Author •
    July 18, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    Absolutely it has, also the Wii handles can be used for mainlining anything you can get your hands on, and punching your way out of a differcult spot with some mod gangs.

  5. Jah Pork Pie
    Jah Pork Pie
    July 18, 2008 at 8:32 pm

    Oh, I can see this one going bad. Somebody is *bound* to start on about computer games being “Spectaculars” and how people should take up the revolution with balls of turnips and bats of woven alder roots!

    Still, in the spirit of the whole shenanigans…

    I foresee the boys being body-scanned and represented as themselves in the upcoming “Super Barrio Brothers”… a funfest of tricks, fixes, nicks and pixels set in Beautiful Downtown Lambeth circa ’79 and featuring a new Wii peripheral being designed especially for the game which will have a cannula in each arm of the player, constantly pumping concentrated mixtures of Harpic, strychnine, talcum powder and blackboard chalk all cut with tiny amounts of smack, speed and Tuinal – accurately re-creating the drugs of the period. Buprenorphine will be administered as a punishment for failing to achieve the intermediate goals of the game, which will include poncing cash and fags up the Station (extra smack points for Dunhill Internationals), projectile vomiting strongly alkaline mixtures onto Old Bill from rooftops (extra Barb strength) and “just wandering about” (midnight speed bonus). St Thomas’ clap clinic and drug dependency unit have allowed us to digitise all of their facilities for various aspects of the game involving pus.

    A mask will also be included, giving the user a flavour of St Monica’s open toilet, a blast of Zoff every now and then to liven things up, the all-pervading scent of hairspray, the incrediblly potent and hard-worked-for farts of junkie vegetarians, plus the near-genuine reek of despair (which has been created especially for the game by a team of crack odorologists at Lancôme’s Peckham branch).

    The suit will include a large hammer attached to the player’s head which can be activated by Vikings, Sammy The Skin, various angry roaming parents and the real villains of the game, Kennington Old Bill and Scousers ((c) Harry Enfield Licensing, Inc). Hammerings cannot be avoided, and the real trick of the game is to be so out of it all the time that one simply doesn’t notice the blood and loud ringing sounds in the ears, instead mistaking them for the after effects of a New German Movement gig.

    Running throughout the game will be a version of Monopoly in which contestants will be paid for landing on houses rather than being charged. There will be bail hostels rather than hotels, and the properties will range from Old Street Fire Station to 66a Lymington Road. Any attempt to buy property will result in going directly to jail (as all property is theft). Passing “GO” will gain a bonus of 200mg of the substance of the player’s choice. All of this will be completely academic, however, as all of the players will constantly be “Just Visiting”.

    “Evade the Scousers and the bugs, concentrate on drugs and mugs”. Mmmm, catchy!

    First one dead wins. But it ain’t as easy as you think.

  6. Penguin
    Penguin • Post Author •
    July 18, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    Oh Pork, with the Heretics game, the Barons book and the Opera on your plate…imagine The Daily Mail headlines. Has got to be bigger than Jerry Springer The Musical.

    Actually you could use Monopoly as a template and just copy it with squats that you know off, get some well stinky figures to finger (!) around the board and take a chance or com chest of something mentioned in these posts. For instance – six day old milk run out, take a chance of going to a late night shop to get a fresh bottle, meet a dealer on the way. Go to sleep for two days in King Cross Station. Miss next go…
    …or take a punkette to the sunday night punk gig at the music machine, bunk in, meet a male friend, forget about the punkette and go and sniff glue in Somers Town with your mate instead, go back three spaces. (Three spaces back would land you smack in the middle of Somers Town)etc etc etc.

    The winner will not be the first to die with badly cut gear or a beating, but the one who gets out of the mess and 30 years later gets to write it all up uncensored on dodgy blogs…

  7. Jah Pork Pie
    Jah Pork Pie
    July 19, 2008 at 12:50 am

    @Pengy->”Three spaces back would land you smack in the middle of Somers Town”

    I think you’re wrong there mate, it was at least twenty quid!

    “The winner will not be the first to die with badly cut gear or a beating, but the one who gets out of the mess and 30 years later gets to write it all up uncensored on dodgy blogs…”

    …Then, without being too sentimental about it all, we’ve got a lot of winners on here. A thing of which I am very glad indeed.

    I’m up to part 3 of the book at the moment, nearly got that edited and set. Updates to follow, everyone!

  8. Penguin
    Penguin • Post Author •
    September 26, 2008 at 12:59 am

    Anyone remember this thread? Christmas is coming and we still need to get the Heretics Monopoly game into the shops for the rush. Oh and the Wii of course. Pork will need some pointers!

  9. baron von zubb
    baron von zubb
    September 26, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    its over there if at all.
    but Porks turning the book into something as we speak.

  10. alistairliv
    October 19, 2008 at 6:54 am

    Why am I here? What did I do wrong? I was innocently reading about The Partisans and there was a big flash of light and a strange metallic whirring noise … HELP I have been abducted by aliens!…. either that or it is a side effect of that Burial cd I have been listening to.

  11. baron von zubb
    baron von zubb
    October 20, 2008 at 9:33 am

    Purgotary Alistair

  12. Sam
    October 20, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    Partisans? Pah! Provincials if you ask me.

  13. alistairliv
    October 20, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    Ah, but Baron, if I am to keep faith with my ancestors who were but ” A Poor, wasted, misrepresented, Remnant of the Suffering, Anti-Popish, Anti-Prelatick, Anti-Erastian, Anti-Sectarian, True Presbyterian Church of Christ inScotland, United together in a General Correspondence”

    belief in purgatory would be a HERESY [Roman Catholic/ Popery ] as this Introduction to An Informatory Vindication from 1687 explains…

    NONE that ever heard of the Church of Scotland, can be altogether ignorant, how, when the Lord was graciously pleased, to confer upon this Land the inestimable benefit of the pure & clear shining light of the Gospel, & to advance the Reformation therein begun to a very high degree from mere Heathenism, even to the extirpation of Popery, Prelacy, & Erastianism (which our Church hath had chiefly to wrestle against) & the Abjuration of all Heretical & Sectarian Errors, whether in Doctrine, worship, Discipline, or Government) that then all ranks of the land were brought into Holy & Solemn Covenants with God, the Church did enjoy her power & privileges; Then, when our ministers were clothed with Righteousness & salvation, their faithfulness to God, & zeal against Sin & all lukewarmness in the Lord’s cause, were so much seen and shown, that Ministers for their not applying their doctrine against the corruptions of the time, were to be censured, & if obstinate they were to be deposed, according to the Act of the General Assembly Aug. 3, 1648, Sess. 26. & likewise Compliers with the public Enemies of this Church & Kingdom, were according to the degree of their offence to be rebuked & censured, by that Act of the General Assembly, June 17, 1646, Sess. 14. In those days the work of the Lord prospered; His Gospel flourished; & Iniquity was made to stop her mouth; Our Church was glorious to all beholders, & terrible to her Enemies as an army with banners; the Lord delighted in us, & our Land was married unto him; Salvation was written upon our walls, & praise upon our gates. But alas! we did quickly turn away from following the Lord, forgetting what great and eminent privileges He had bestowed upon us; how He had subdued our Enemies under us, & made them to yield, & prospered us in what we did put our hands unto: We did, alas! soon fall from our first love, the edge of our zeal became blunted, & our eyes were darkened that we could not see: {5} so we have gone further astray, from one degree of defection unto another, until we have brought ourselves into such misery of dissolution & desolation, division & confusion, reproach & contempt, that our case is now as deplorable & despicable, as ever it was formally admired & envied.

    Full text (very long) at

  14. baron von zubb
    baron von zubb
    October 21, 2008 at 9:27 am

    Al i’m a yid, by birth. We dont have either heaven, hell or purgatory, so I learned recently.
    Cheers for the history. What do I know?Its all christianity to me. A religion based on one of our lot who went east, learned some techniques and came back a preaching jewbu.

  15. Sam
    October 25, 2008 at 4:59 am

    Someone wrote to me to tell me we’re on a Japanese website somewhere. Can’t find it though.

  16. Sam
    October 25, 2008 at 5:08 am

    I bet yer Jap knows very little about The Varukers.

  17. baron von zubb
    baron von zubb
    October 25, 2008 at 9:42 am

    We got 3 threads init!

  18. Penguin
    Penguin • Post Author •
    October 25, 2008 at 10:04 am

    Perhaps Chris Low can help you find The Heretics japanese thread. He is in Tokyo quite a bit and is learning the language. Chris??? Can you or your friends help??? It is his name on the ‘big thread ‘ as you all know. I wonder if he thought his tape would draw so much attention when he lent it to me to upload?

  19. Nic
    October 25, 2008 at 11:30 am

    As far as I know, the Varukers are very popular in Japan and tour there with some regularity…

    If anyone can find the Far East connection, Spike can…

  20. Chris
    October 25, 2008 at 1:48 pm

    “As far as I know, the Varukers are very popular in Japan”

    As is octopus porn. They got some mighty strange tastes over there. 😉

    But knowing how devoted to searching out the most obscure punk stuff they are over there no doubt The Heretics could reform now and fill Tokyo stadium. Will do my best to try to find out about this japanese thread. BTW, I think a Heretics myspace and facebook is now well in order.

  21. baron von zubb
    baron von zubb
    October 25, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Are we getting evicted ?
    The thing is unless were hiding under the K Y P P banner the interest will be rather less.
    Neither Sammy or I will ever risk only having 2 freinds and 5 hits a month . .

  22. Sam
    January 3, 2009 at 3:22 am

    56 responses to: The Heretics – Taught The Doors decadance.

  23. Jah Pork Pie
    Jah Pork Pie
    January 3, 2009 at 5:39 am

    They were truly the architraves of their time!

  24. baronvonzubb
    January 5, 2009 at 12:11 am

    gents that andy martin thread now has almost 200 posts, dangerously near our 700 I feel

  25. Penguin
    Penguin • Post Author •
    January 5, 2009 at 12:34 am

    500 less in my ‘rough’ calculation Baron Von Crazyperson, and if you add this post, your book post, plus the Chris Low Obscure Tape post, not even near mi breddah…BTW Did you ever get any lady action with that spiky hair and those shabby clothes? 😉 Reason I ask is cos some girls at work (some time ago now it must be said) thought you looked cute! Poor souls, obviously mentalist. And before you ask, yes, you ARE far too old for them, sorry geez.

  26. Jah Pork Pie
    Jah Pork Pie
    January 5, 2009 at 1:14 am

    I got more action than one could reasonably shake a stick at for a week or two with that nice mohican that Wank Stain did for me round at his folks’ place, Bic-stylee. Trouble was, when I went back to my mum’s she saw me asleep in bed, thought I’d sold my door keys to a little old bald man and very nearly called the old bill on me!

    Then, after that week or two, the gurlz realised that I was the same old twat underneath it all and the long arid years revisited the desert that was my pants!

  27. baronvonzubb
    January 9, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    Lady action? It came my way so I almost got it together with a few but…
    I was unfortuanately
    a) in a relationship (with my mum)
    b) too drugged up or down (on pro plus)
    c) socially inept. (couldnt tie me laces…)
    Sam & Jah Pork were the casanovas.
    We all fancied Lady Liz but how many of us even dared?
    Sorry to disappoint.

  28. Jah Pork Pie
    Jah Pork Pie
    January 13, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    “Sam & Jah Pork were the casanovas”

    Can I have that in an actual proper written-down letter to show the missus? She’s only known me since my looks and my brain went 😉

  29. Phil R
    Phil R
    January 15, 2009 at 9:26 am

    Hey! Pork, Jake, Sam, Pip’s just turned up on facebook!

  30. Jah Pork Pie
    Jah Pork Pie
    January 15, 2009 at 11:20 am

    “Pip’s just turned up on facebook”

    Nice one mate – can you post either a link to it or his full name so I can search for him?

  31. Phil R
    Phil R
    January 15, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    Hey Pork search me out on face book..There’s a few of us old punks on it…Or maybe Penguin can give you my email or he can send me yours.

  32. baron von zubb
    baron von zubb
    January 19, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    Yep you can have that in writing mate!
    Oh crickey .Just as I got away and deleted me self from the insidious evil that is facebook it starts to get interesting…

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