Jonny Rubbish – United Artists Records – 1978

Posted on November 4, 2008November 5, 2008 by Penguin

Here’s one for The Kill Your Pet Puppy Collective to pogo to, also The Heretics and anyone else who has squatted property in Hampstead, NW3.

I will save you the cringe of listening to the B side of this record. Made out as a spoof ‘News At Ten’ broadcast, which is not that great. Rabbi’s on strike in Golders Green, Dolly Parton as England football team manager and some other news titbits…not great, best avoided unlike the A Side which is pretty fun.

The Other Side

I have now uploaded the B Side of this record due to a request in the comments. Oh dear what have you let yourself in for Mike? 😉

53 comments

Mike (UK)
November 5, 2008 at 3:06 am

I’d totally forgotten about this one. Thanks a lot for this, its great fun. I wonder what Mr Rotten made of it. I remember the B side being awful but for completist reasons, is there any chance you could upload it too please…pretty please!

Cheers Mike
Arstider
November 5, 2008 at 8:43 am

I agree, B-sides are always B-sides. Always fun to listen to, at least once……. Still have this one. Great fun

Best wishes from Sweden
Nic
November 5, 2008 at 11:33 am

Novelty Punk singles….excellent…

Jonny Rubbish was (apparently) a ‘comedian’ who had come to the attention of Hugh Cornwell by virtue of being a big fan of the Stranglers. Cornwell became his manager…
He had also been at school with Jon Moss (London, Culture Club)…

Can I nominate a few others?
Some cool ones:
– the ‘Snuff Rock’ EP
– the Black Arabs
– Paul Jones’ ‘Easy’ versions of ‘Pretty Vacant’ / ‘Sheena is a Punk Rocker’
– Don E. Sibley’s ‘Punk Bashin’ Boogie’ (not a ‘Punk’ song as such – as is the case with Freddy Cannon’s ‘Hey Punk Rocker!’ – but great lyrics and a forerunner of the ‘Fuck the Mods’ farrago)
– Yellow Dog’s ‘Down at the Vortex’
– Los Punk Rockers’ ‘Los Exitos de Sex Pistols’ LP ( a complete cover of the ‘Bollocks’ by Spanish fans)

and some truly awful ones:
– Andy Cameron’s ‘I want to Be a Punk Rocker’
– Norman and the Hooligans’ ‘I’m A Punk’
– Kevin Short and His Privates’ ‘Punk Strut’
– Max Wall’s ‘Super Punk’
– Duggie Briggs band’s ‘Punk Rockin’ Granny’
– Richie Hale and the Stormers’ ‘Punkski’
– Matt Black and the Doodlebugs ‘Punky Xmas’
– Neville Wanker and the Punters’ ‘The Boys on the Dole’
– The Water Pistols ‘Gimme That Punk Junk’
– The Punkettes’ ‘Goin’ Out Wiva Punk’
– the ‘Chipmunk Punk’ LP
– The Ravers’ ‘Punk Rock Christmas’
– and *on dangerous ground here* Elizabeth R’s ‘God save the Sex Pistols’ (masterminded by Jonathan King)…

There are also some corkingly bad Australian Punk novelty singles (Norman Gunstone, Dave and the Derros, etc)…
Ian S
November 5, 2008 at 11:43 am

What a list there Nic!

Not the Nine O’Clock News spoof punk song ‘gob on you’:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=-5N3q0lGi4w

Later released as a single b-side . . . why?! 🙂

Also Plastic Bertrand ‘Ca Plane Pour Moi’ as shown on TOTP with Pan’s People/Legs & Co wearing ‘punk’ wigs and waving baguettes around.
Nic
November 5, 2008 at 11:52 am

I forgot about ‘Gob On You’! What a doss!
“Gob on You! ‘cos you’re a stupid old straight,
Gob! Gob! Gob! Gob! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!”

Plastic Bertrand is great! Many kids bounced up and down on the bed to that one in 1978 (as Clarks shoes remembered in a recent advert campaign)…
I really like his first LP: the whole thing has a nice drive to it – and it includes a version of ‘Pogo Pogo’ which Bertrand played with his first ‘punk’ band Hubble Bubble (who were ace)…Thinking of it – have you heard the version of ‘Pogo Pogo’ (called ‘Photo Photo’) by Belgian cash-in band Too Much (it’s the B-Side of their Silex Pistols single)? It’s not bad…

The original version of ‘Ca Plane Pour Moi’ comes from Belgium as well: it was written by Elton Motello and features some killer lyrics (“I’d like to kick him in the head until he’s dead: the sight of blood, it drives me wild! Oooh! Oooh! Ooo! Oooh! He gives me head!”)…It was later covered by The Damned and Penguin’s faves Chron Gen…

Haha – that IS a substantial list, Ian…
I have a soft spot for ‘Novelty’ records and have a large section of the record collection devoted to them…(I haven’t been able to get hold of the single version of ‘Gob on You’ – been looking for years, but never see it in Charity Shops!)
My memory also seems to be able to store pointless scraps of information about Music (and Art, Cinema, Literature etc)…but not – unfortunately – the important stuff (like birthdays)…
🙂
Ian S
November 5, 2008 at 12:13 pm

Heh, the only other punk song sung in French I can remember is Metal Urbain’s ‘Paris Maquis’, which was pretty good.

Remember the Goodies episode where everyone in Britain turned into punks? Not sure if they got a song out of that one, iirc there was a Goodies album that came out around 1978.
Nic
November 5, 2008 at 12:52 pm

Metal Urbain were great: nasty buzzsaw guitars, drum machine, synth keyboard attack, and (by all accounts, according to my friends who speak French) wonderfully dumb lyrics…

Yeah, the French (and Belgian) groups tended to sing in English…The Dogs, Guilty Razors, Marie et Les Garcons, Bijou, and Asphalt Jungle all had some great tracks, but they all gave in to the Anglicised lyrical approach…

There wasn’t a song spawned by the ‘Punky Business’ episode of ‘The Goodies’ unfortunately…
It’s available on the 2nd Goodies DVD though…
devotionalhooligan
November 5, 2008 at 3:01 pm

hah… this is wild… another one i’d never heard before… you southern kids had it made man… not sure I know that many ‘Novelty’ punk records… Nic your list sounds great… cool compilation in there I reckon… we did have the Toy Dolls up north if that counts.

Does anybody know the title of a song about the joys of wanking… I used to hang out with the older punks on the estate & this tune had a huge impact as I remember… I was 10 yrs old & floored by it. could it have been Ivor Biggin???? Or is that just a false memory???
Penguin • Post Author •
November 5, 2008 at 3:15 pm

That’s correct – Ivor Biggin. Another class knob song is by John Trubee entitled ‘Blind Man’s Penis’ which is mad as a bag of frogs and released on Enigma Records! Toy Dolls? Huummmm…Not my cup of tea, but they were the very first band EVER featured on the TV programme The Tube! Performed in a corridor if memory serves.
Nic
November 5, 2008 at 4:08 pm

Ivor Biggun and the Red Nosed Burglars – ‘The Winkers Song (Misprint)’ was actually by that creepy guy from ‘That’s Life’ called Doc Cox…

Penguin! John Trubee! That is one Total Whirlwind of a Doss single (and a great story to boot)…
Here’s a link to a cheap animation someone made to go with the single:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=wH8uZgtztok

“Ramona’s titties died in Hell, and the Nazis want to kill everyone!”
devotionalhooligan
November 5, 2008 at 4:28 pm

not my cuppa either mate… the tube was great… we’d get free tickets for it most weeks… and i seen loads of lush bands play… but it was the station in newcastle & the bunker in sunderland that had the most impact for me in the early 80s…
Graham Burnett
November 5, 2008 at 4:40 pm

What about punk exploitation books? My friend Steve had a great one that included a photo of John Lydon with a speech bubble superimposed saying ” ‘ere – I’m Rotten!” – Classic!
Graham Burnett
November 5, 2008 at 4:50 pm

> Ivor Biggun and the Red Nosed Burglars – ‘The Winkers Song (Misprint)’ was actually by that creepy guy from ‘That’s Life’ called Doc Cox…

oh jeez i’ve just had a flashback to my arse of a driving instructor, a former copper who used to think it highly amusing to sing ‘The Winkers Song (misprint)’ during my driving lessons. a favourite question of his whilst ‘making conversation’ during lessons was “Fucked yer bird yet? Hur hur” I’d forgotten all about him, so thanks for that Nic…

Does The Pork Dukes’ ‘making Bacon’ count in this thread BTW?
Ian S
November 5, 2008 at 5:11 pm

“What about punk exploitation books?”

Richard Allen, who wrote all the New English Library bovver books, rushed one out called ‘Punk Rock’. It was crap. Even the band names he invented for it just sounded lame: ‘Gutz’ and ‘Flikk Out’.
Graham Burnett
November 5, 2008 at 5:15 pm

I had a copy of that, my aforementioned friend Steve gave me a copy for my birthday once
Ian S
November 5, 2008 at 5:22 pm

The cover:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y218/haloofflies/punk.jpg

The photographer must have grabbed a couple of junior editorial assistants at NEL: “Here put this tie round your neck . . . no not under your collar, round your neck . . . stick this plastic fork in your breast pocket . . . “
Nic
November 5, 2008 at 5:38 pm

Ah, Richard Allen, Richard Allen…
I’ve still got a copy of ‘Punk Rock’ too: I collected a lot of books published by New English Library when I was in my teens, largely for the lurid cover art and content…

Here’s a gallery of Allen covers on Home’s site:
http://www.stewarthomesociety.org/sp/moffatt.htm
(I always liked ‘Knuckle Girls’ and ‘Sorts’…)

There weren’t many Punk literary cash-ins (beyond Punk-based poster mags) that I can recall…I can only really think of Gideon Sams’ ‘The Punk’ (which I mentioned in detail elsewhere on this site for its links to the London underground scene)…
Later efforts like Steve Goodman’s ‘England Belongs to Me’ and John King’s ‘Human Punk’ (and Stewart Home’s books) are written “after the fact” (as such) and don’t go for the wallowing in the depths that Allen did so well…
Nic
November 5, 2008 at 5:41 pm

Here’s some images from the New English Library ‘Biker’ book covers:
http://www.itsdeadlicious.com/2008/10/biker-novels-new-english-library.html
(featuring the mighty ‘Chopper’)…

These French books from 1977 look promising:
http://www.itsdeadlicious.com/2008/03/punk-literature-le-dernier-terrain.html
No doubt as rare as les dents de poulet…
Nic
November 5, 2008 at 5:44 pm

One of my all-time favourite NEL covers:
http://www.trashfiction.co.uk/sneed_sir_alt.jpg
baron von zubb
November 5, 2008 at 5:46 pm

‘I’m a winker
and it does me good
like it bloody well should
Im a winker
And Im always pulling my pud’
Still the best no. 1 ever
Nic
November 5, 2008 at 5:49 pm

(Only the Indie charts though, Baron)…
baron von zubb
November 5, 2008 at 6:14 pm

Is that right?
Thus is senility.Oh well.
Gideon Sams?
N W 3?
Think he went to King Alfreds School a fee paying school for kids of the well to do bohemiens of that district.
Although it seems my memory isnt to be trusted.
Probably a diamomd geezer from Newham.
Nic
November 5, 2008 at 6:35 pm

He was the kid of the Sams family who ran the Ceres macrobiotic store on the Portobello Road in the late 60’s and early 70’s…
The Sams started off selling macrobiotic food at the UFO club, before running various food places where Graham Bond played in the basement and where Bolan met Mickey Finn, along with a bakery on Freston Road which held Here and Now concerts…The family also supplied wholefoods to Lennon…They went on to found Whole Earth foods and Green and Black’s chocolate…
devotionalhooligan
November 5, 2008 at 6:46 pm

cannit knock NEL or richard allen myself,got me into reading and the covers are spot on…

babylon was a fav back in the day,although i do prefer the film…

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t202/devotionalhooligan/lastscanb.jpg

as for punk reads,the first two books of martin millar based around the brixton punk/squat scene in the late 80s… and the spare change anthology ‘gobbing,pogoing,etc’ which came a little later i think[?]

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t202/devotionalhooligan/bb.jpg

these did the rounds at the time but i’ve not re/read them since,so i’m relying on memory… and rose tinted too perhaps
Graham Burnett
November 5, 2008 at 6:48 pm

I used to love the NEL science fiction book covers, especially the paintings of Bruce Pennington and Chris Foss. There was a short lived sci fi magazine in the 70s called Science Fiction Monthly (imaginative title!) that used to have poster sized reproductions ofmany of the NEL paperback covers, these covered my bedroom wall in my early teen years….
Graham Burnett
November 5, 2008 at 6:54 pm

Never read the babylon book but the film was excelent as I remember, with a great soundtarck as well. As I recall it was kind of a black version of Quadrophenia, with the lead character becomming increasingly disillusioned with the things he believed in one by one. I can still recall the climax in the soundsystem with the cops bashing down the door and the chanted ‘can’t take no more of that’ carrying on over the credits with no backing track after the screen has gone black… Great stuff!
Mike (UK)
November 5, 2008 at 8:29 pm

Yea I know its b****x but…….I just wanted it again! Many many thanks.
Graham Burnett
November 5, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Best of all, I’ve won another 2 Ipod Nano’s just by downloading this rubbish!
Graham Burnett
November 5, 2008 at 8:59 pm

Best bit is where he actually explains his own joke about the ‘foreskins to Israel’!!

Or is it the line about the ‘Great white shark played by Cyril Smith’???

Quality!
Steve
November 5, 2008 at 9:09 pm

I actually saw Johnny Rubbish live in 1977, supporting the Stranglers! (I think he was a mate of theirs).

Unfortunately I can’t remember a single thing about it. That’s punk!
W
November 5, 2008 at 9:28 pm

What an hilarious song (shame about the b side). It’s in a completely different league from Ivor Biggun – I always thought The Winkers misprint was a terrible record even though it did create a bit of a stir in the playground.

A bit more rocknroll but doesn’t Kenny Everett’s Sid Snot deserve a mention here?

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/kenny-everett-angry-of-mayfairsid-snot/199968716
W
November 5, 2008 at 10:27 pm

Sorry, messed that link up somehow.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8YpAdK0CrTY&feature=related
Sam
November 5, 2008 at 11:54 pm

Nobody’s mentioned Jilted John. I downloaded it a couple of years ago. Good record funnily enough.